Wellness
Self-Care Tips for the Men in Your Life
Here are a few ways to help your favorite dude de-stress.
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I’m a high energy individual. My days are often spent packing as much as humanly possible into every hour. I have many passions, interests, commitments, and ideas that keep me in a perpetual state of striving, accomplishing, doing—and for most of my life, I have dealt with stress by doing more.
Many years ago when I suffered a sports-induced injury, I lost my primary coping mechanism of exercise. Suddenly, I could not do the physical activity that my system had learned to rely on to be well. That’s when I turned to meditation, a coping skill that requires no action, no activity, and no doing. As I began to sit in silence regularly, I realized I was learning to just be. Over time, I have continued to learn that practicing the art of “being” allows me to maintain the high energy and multi-passionate parts of myself without feeling frantic or overwhelmed.
As a Holistic Psychologist, here are my two guiding mantras for embracing the “power of the pause.”
After years of meditation practice, I still have to intentionally remind myself to do less and simply just be. For example, I recently had a meeting canceled last-minute, which opened up a full hour in my day. My mind immediately went to all the emails I’d be able to respond to.
When I took a breath to listen to my body, I realized I felt frazzled by running from one thing to the next. I put my devices away and sat in a park for a full hour—thinking, reflecting, breathing, people watching, and just being. I noticed a sense of calm flow through my body, a sense of thankfulness fill my heart, and a feeling of contentment wash over me. Listening to my own internal need to do less is what propels me to carry on with my day in my usual upbeat and high-energy manner.
When we create space to be, our nervous system calms. When our nervous system is relaxed, our body and brain function better. Therefore, somewhat ironically, the best thing we can do for our productivity and our drive is to take a break—hit pause, slow down, breathe. I teach clients how to pause, since both mental and physical health depends on restful moments.
Science shows that continually being in a state of activity causes stress at a cellular level. Our systems need to decompress and rejuvenate to prevent disease, illness and to thrive. So the question is: to be or to do. My answer is both. I will always love being active and doing, and over time I’ve come to know the deep value in learning the skill of just being.
With doing as my default, practicing the importance of being is an ongoing journey for me. It’s also a skill I feel passionate about sharing with others, as we can all benefit from being given the permission to just be. So, the next time you feel like you “should do something,” remind yourself that taking the time to be is positively fueling your entire system—mind and body.