In the wake of Valentine’s Day, we often focus on all the romance and forget the most important relationship we have—the one with ourselves. How can we honor this relationship? Practice self-love. Some think self-love is selfish, but it’s exactly the opposite. You see, when you love yourself, you begin to love others more deeply. And on top of that, others begin to see and love you more deeply. This romance season, begin your practice of self-love, and see how the world around you changes.

Here are some ways to start:

Write a love letter to yourself

There’s no need to wait for someone else to write you a beautiful note and tell you how wonderful you are. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. And you are worthy of love. So, begin writing love notes to yourself.

There are different ways to practice this: You can write a letter to yourself as you are today. Or you can write to a younger version of yourself, who was struggling at the time. You can even write a letter to your future self. Sometimes, they’ll write you back—which is pretty cool.

This is a powerful and healing practice if you do it regularly.

Self-Love Meditation

This is a specific mediation to nurture positive feelings about yourself. Picture yourself, or a younger version of yourself. You can look at an old picture or even use a mirror! Look yourself in the eyes, and tell yourself: "I love and accept you just the way you are." Repeat this several times, and remember, there’s no one more worthy of your love than you!

Practice gratitude

I know. Here we are with gratitude again. But this time, it’s a little different. Instead of looking for things around you, begin to practice gratitude for you. Ask yourself, “What about myself am I grateful for?” And, “Why are these things important?” It’s this second question, the “why,” that allows you to feel gratitude. Remember, gratitude is not a thought, it’s a feeling. It’s the magical key to start feeling good about yourself.

Forgive yourself

There's nothing quite as powerful as forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Yes, you may have screwed up. Yes, you probably could have done things differently. But the reality is, you’re human. And you make mistakes like every other human on the planet. 

My favorite definition of forgiveness comes from Dr. Jampolsky. He says that forgiveness is giving up hope that the past can be different. It acknowledges the past and frees us from having to live it over and over again. And while forgiving others is important, self-forgiveness is a missing ingredient. Self-forgiveness unlocks you from the past and allows you to create a new future yourself.

Say something kind to yourself

You can say anything, no rules here! Thank your toes for helping you walk. Seriously, when’s the last time you thanked your toes for anything? And think about what life would be like without your toes. Or compliment yourself on your smile, your artistic ability, or how great a cook you are. Anything, just start being kind to yourself.

As I’ve been getting older, I use this regularly when I look in the mirror. Almost every day I see new wrinkles and gray hairs. Of course, my first reaction is still, “What are you doing there?” And then I catch my myself, look endearingly at this changed part of me, and say, “Welcome to family.”

This one practice has completely changed my relationship with myself. And bonus, it’s helped me see others differently as well. We are all growing and changing.

Treat yourself like your own best friend

In the end, self-love is about treating yourself as a friend. You accept your friends, you forgive your friends, you say kind things to your friends. Self-love is about becoming your own friend. Treat yourself as you would treat a dear friend. Because no one is more deserving of your friendship than you.

And you can be your own friend every day. 

Want to learn more about practicing self-love? Join the Self-Love Revolution!